Mission Statement, Part 2

The party agreed that they needed to head toward the crater right away; what they disagreed on was how to get there.  Nyridius and Optimus split off toward what they believed would be a shortcut, while Lim’Dul, Azkadelia, and Little Rock headed straight up the path.

The party of three approached the crater to find a strange scene.  They could hear voices in the crater, but they couldn’t see anyone.  After some brief searching, they found a laptop that was broadcasting a invisibility field around the area.  Unfortunately, their only techie (Optimus) was at parts unknown, and the three swatted at the contraption like perplexed chimpanzees.   This got the attention the cloaked individuals, who opened fire on the team.  Frustrated, Lim’Dul bashed the laptop to pieces with his stick.  When the invisibility field dropped, the team saw Optimus’ horse (which had been stolen by Windsor long ago).  They also saw one of the thug bears, and he had backup in the form of Furious George (a club-fisted ape) and Hypno-Toad (a frog with captivating eyes).

Without a lick of conversation, a battle erupted.  The Hypno-Toad mesmerized Azkadelia, but was quickly killed by Lim’Dul.  This freed up Lim’Dul and Azkadelia to hop down into the crater’s pit and engage the thug bear.  Even though Azkadelia completely biffed her jump and tried to stick an 18-foot fall on her face, the two were able to keep the bear in check.  This didn’t shut the bear up, though; he continuously taunted the group with shouts of “AW HEELLLL NO!  You think you bad? Lemme show you how we do it out in THA WOODS!”  The tide turned with a clever combination of mutations by Azkadelia; she clouded the bear’s mind to grant her some peace, and mentally manipulated the horse into trampling the bear. 

Meanwhile, on the ledge of the pit, Little Rock battled with Furious George.  The angry monkey dished out immense damage with his simian pounding, and Little Rock took the worst beating of his life.  

After maneuvering around Little Rock, Furious George kicked him off the edge of the pit, resulting in a painful 18-foot drop.  Furious George looked over the ledge, victorious.  However, he overreached when he went for a brutal coup de grâce: an 18-foot elbow drop with his spiked mitts.  The move would have definitely killed Little Rock, but Furious George’s attempt was a critical failure - he overshot the jump and landed face-first in the ground.

Knowing that the bear had valuable information, Azkadelia used her interaction skills to grind the fight to a halt.  She convinced the bear to talk instead of fight to the death, and he shared that he received the horse from Windsor in a trade for a large red crystal.  The thug bear got hostile when the party asked for the horse back, but Azkadelia convinced him to trade it for an assortment of junk.  Finally, they asked about Windsor’s whereabouts, and the bear shared what he knew, saying, “He took the crystal into that cave in the center of the crater.  He said he and his men would undergo some transformation and become ‘more powerful than god.’  He said he wanted to do this in this hole that some idiot blew in the earth’s crust.” 

“Don’t you hate it when that happens?” quipped Lim’Dul.  The thug bear and Furious George expressed their respect for the team after such a good toe-to-toe sparring, and left.  Azkadelia decided that the horse belonged to her, not Optimus, and named it “Gumdrop Princess.”  Furthermore, she fashioned some battle armor for it out of her rowboat and Optimus’ inertial armor.  Sufficiently prepared, the proud team of Lim’Dul, Little Rock, Azkadelia, and Gumdrop Princess marched into Windsor’s cavern.

Mission Statement, Part 1

With pride, the men explain to Azkadelia how they beat Youric’s wife into submission.  “Whatever,” she says.   They walk out of the cave, embracing the daylight as long-lost friend.  They realize that, yes, they were in the ice cave marked on their map, and that the underground passage took them farther than they thought.  While still at the mouth of the cave, they are approached by a lone robot.  “The Collective wishes to express the human emotion of remorse for trying to kill you,” it says.  “However, with most of our agents repairing and rebuilding our facility, we find ourselves in need of an agent in the field.  Optimus, you once held this role for us.  Will you resume employment under us?  Your squishies may accompany you on your next mission.”  After very little thought, Optimus accepts on behalf of the group.  The robot then goes on to explain that the danger represented by the flame cultists cannot be ignored, and asks the party to intercept an upcoming hand-off of flame crystals that will take place at the crater (Lim’Dul’s old town).  They accept the mission, but not before Azkadelia uses her interaction skills to gain some up-front payment in the form of omega tech.

As they get ready to head out, however, they notice a lich on the horizon.  This undead general, completely sentient and self-aware, summons a small army of skeletons and zombies.  

The party considers hiding behind some giant slabs of ice that litter the area, but they are undone by a wave of genetic mutations that double Nyridius in size.  Thinking quickly, Nyridius utilizes a transformative face mask and disguises himself as another lich.  Nothing out of the ordinary… except that he’s 15 feet tall and massive.  Nyridius attempts to make conversation with the lich, asking what he’s looking for in the ice cave.  “Power.” Responds the lich.  “Nope, we just looked.  No power there,” he responds.  Nyridius realizes the conversation isn’t going well, and initiates combat.  In the ensuing melee, the skeletons throw their own ribs at the party in lieu of an actual ranged attack.  The lich, however, is the real threat; he throws a flashbang that temporarily blinds Little Rock, Lim’Dul, and Optimus, and attempts to penetrate Nyridius mind with an eye-locking attack.  

The team, in response, utilizes every piece of tech and every mutation at their disposal.  Lim’Dul takes mental control of one zombie and forces him to elbow-drop his master.  Azkadelia destroys another by airing her grievances, which actually turns out to be a powerful psychic attack.  

The lich again proves to be the real threat when he re-assembles the destroyed skeletons, bringing them back into the fray.  Nyridius dishes out intense psychic damage by having his mask make a scary face, and Lim’Dul finishes the lich off with an electro-blast.  Little Rock and Optimus clean up the remaining undead with their beefy melee attacks.

After the danger has passed, Youric steps out onto his lawn to find that the party has once again covered his property in brains and body parts.  “My wife is gonna kill me,” he laments.  Although the party urges him to join them on their mission to the crater, Youric mentions that he’s forbidden to by “the old ball and chain.”  Little Rock offers to beat her unconscious again, but Youric declines.  After a quick break for scavenging (during which Lim’Dul finds a ceiling fan), the party makes its way toward the crater. 

Loss Aversion, Part 2

Horace is gone.  But the party struggles onward.  They travel farther and farther through the cave.  As they progress, the ambient temperature chills; before long, they can see their breath.  A partial tunnel collapse separates Azkadelia from the group.  Although their numbers are dwindling, their confidence remains high after a wave of alpha mutations gives them impressive temporary powers.  The tunnel flares out, and reveals a frozen, crystalline palace.  Clearly, their tunnel has led them to the ice cave on their map.  They are immediately confronted by the booming voice of an ancient warrior; “Who enters the cave of Youric?! Begone, vile trespassers!”  The team, however, calms the tensions, and informs Youric that they merely want to exit through his cave.  Youric drops his confrontational and Shakespearean tone, saying “Actually, uh… my wife’s been a bit testy lately… She’d be super-pissed if she saw me having some guys over.  Truth be told, I’ve been sleeping on the couch most nights.  Ever since I got her that big crystal, she’s been so quick to anger.”  The party resolves to power through Youric’s cave anyway, to which Youric says “I’m staying out of this one” and retires to his tool shed.

The party doesn’t make it far before they are separated by a slippery, icy slope.  Nyridius, Little Rock, and Optimus are attacked by mutated ice-cold lap dogs.  Optimus makes short work of them by busting out the big guns first – he uses his “life-leech explosion” mutation to crack open the dogs’ skulls and drink the sweet, sweet juices inside.  Nyridius and Little Rock make themselves feel like big, strong men by beating the hell out of the last remaining dog.  On the other end of the cave, Lim’Dul meets a large spider who tries to communicate with him.  He utilizes a miniature gecko to translate the spider’s speech, and convinces the spider to fetch Helga, Youric’s wife.

As Optimus crosses the ice cave’s living room to meet up with Lim’Dul, he finds a large, hollow podium.  After breaking it open, his suspicions are confirmed; it contains the ice crystal that Youric spoke of.  Furthermore, the crystal is giving off a field that makes everyone in the party except Lim’Dul incredibly short-tempered and somewhat violent toward each other.

When Helga enters the chamber, she sees Optimus covered in her dogs’ brains and smashing her display case.  SHE. IS. PISSED.  She attacks the group, and calls another pack of ice dogs to assist.  Her infuriated banshee shrieks deal psychic damage to the group, and her ranged ice beam attacks nearly freeze them in place.  

The men, however, gang up on her, and are successful in beating an old married woman unconscious.  

Youric enters the room and surveys the scene.  He thanks the group for not killing his wife, and begins nursing her back to health.  In addition, he realizes that the ice crystal was the cause of all the violence, yet he knows it cannot be destroyed.  Youric offers to keep the crystal safely contained within his cave.  He also offers the team a warning; he says that he’s seen very strange behavior displayed in the lands surrounding his cave, and he can’t help but wonder if the crystals are to blame for it all.

Azkadelia meets up with the party as they exit the ice cave, asking “What’d I miss?”

Loss Aversion, Part 1

“How did I get here?  Why am I doing this?”  These and other thoughts race through Azkadelia’s mind as she and her friends slide down the limb disposal hole.  Wet and gooey from innumerable chunks of excess flesh, the sluice takes the team farther and farther below ground.  The channels split, and Horace and Azkadelia are ferried away to parts unknown.  Finally, the pipe ends, and the party lands on solid ground.  They find themselves in a dark and quiet cave.  Off in the distance, they hear the flame cultist that was kicked into the hole first.  They hear him running and panting, but something catches up to him in the darkness; the sounds of his feet are cut short with a sudden crunch, followed by the sounds of cracking, ripping, and disemboweling. 

Nyridius, Lim’Dul, Optimus, and Little Rock survey their surrounds and see evidence that they’re not alone in the dark; gnawed bones indicate that something hungry lurks nearby.  They are approached by two multi-armed pit monsters.  The monsters don’t seem violent, but they are… handsy.  And chatty; they gab incessantly.  Lim’Dul and Nyridius get thoroughly groped and felt up as they try to walk past.  Unfortunately, Optimus trips and accidentally kicks one in the face.  This turns their interaction sour, and the monsters begin lashing out at the group.

Horace and Azkadelia, however, are in worse shape.  Horace finds himself surrounded by two “shadows,” which are people that aren’t properly synched with this dimension, and phase in and out of it.  Horace is grabbed by one, and slowly begins changing.  In an adjacent room, Azkadelia is tackled by a zombie, who begins gnawing on her.  Both are in mortal danger.

The main group rushes to assist them, but see that they may already be too late to help Horace.  Although he is still alive, he is slowly fading away from this dimension.  Everyone is badly hurt, and they begin scrambling to find an exit.  A spider ensnares Little Rock, but Nyridius crams a disruptor pike up its ass and blows it to pieces.  Near the exit, the party is confronted by a fearsome shadow standing on an archaic rune.  Although Lim’Dul believes the rune to be a swimming pool and tries to jump in, Horace sees an opportunity to save his friends.  Horace knows that he is permanently altered and will be unable to leave the cave, ever.  He engages the shadow in an attempt to buy his friends enough time to escape.  They all manage to make it out, leaving Horace behind.

 Over the next weeks, Horace finds that, in his new semi-corporeal form, he remains bound to the rune in the cave.  So there he remains, resigned to his fate.