Stay of Execution, Part 3

On their way to the tree, Nyridius begins to experience some powerful headaches.  He sees Windsor thrashing some unseen enemies, scrap metal flying in every direction.  He is snapped by to reality when he hears voices from the tree line.  Looking out, the party sees one of the thug bears up in a tree.  At the base of the tree is a group of mummies.  “HEY YOU MUTHAFUCKAS, HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS GAWDDAM TREE!” shouts the bear.  An elderly gentleman named Mandeep, however, urges the group to move along, assuring the group that his mummies need to kill the bear in order to save the world.  Little Rock and Hand Banana won’t hear any of it, and they immediately move to intercept the mummies.

Upon closer inspection, the team realizes that these mummies are the (very poorly) preserved remains of infamous teenage heartthrobs, such as Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus.  This is confirmed when the mummies begin singing annoyingly catchy pop songs and attacking with over-sexualized pelvic thrusts.  Drizzle, Fitzgerald, Little Rock, and Nyridius split up to engage the mummies, but their attacks don’t appear to do any damage.  While Tao Ren unsuccessfully attempts to bash the tree until the bear falls out, Hand Banana threatens Mandeep with rape, breaking his spirit.  Mandeep immediately gives up the mummies’ weakness: their self-esteem.

With these instructions, the party dishes out crippling insults.  Drizzle tells Miley that she has her father’s scraggly mullet, and Little Rock tells Bieber that Usher was just using him to stay relevant.  With their self-esteem crushed, the mummies become vulnerable.  The party uses this opportunity to unleash a barrage of ranged and melee attacks, severely injuring the mummies.  The team outnumbers the mummies, so things appear to be going well.  Unfortunately, though, two skeletal bodyguards appear to defend the mummified celebrities.

The skeletons brandish fearsome blades, but their true danger comes from their ranged attack: they shoot a flurry of angry bees out of their mouth.  Although there are only two of them, they quickly overwhelm the party.  Hand Banana is knocked unconscious from a critical bee strike.  Drizzle is also knocked out by a combination of bees and mummy thrusts.  Fitzgerald convinces the thug bear to come out of the tree and help, but the bear is immediately killed by the skeletons as well.

Finally, the party gets their shit together and busts out the powerful attacks.  Little Rock stomps and bashes his way through two mummies, and Fitzgerald uses his magnetic powers to throw enemies into each other.  After some solid attacks, the mummies are incapacitated.  As soon as the mummies are defeated, the skeletons lose their purpose in life and collapse harmlessly.

“You fools!” cries Mandeep.  “I was going to use those mummies to kill the bears and all their animal kin.  At the Big Ass Tree, they possess a crystal equal in power to Windsor’s!  All I needed to do was kill them, take their crystal, and then use it to stop Windsor!”

“Why kill them?  Why not just ask them  nicely for it?” asks Nyridius. 

“Well, I suppose you could try that too.”  replies Mandeep.