Gettin' Moist, Part 4

After a long trek, the team reaches the base of the tower.  Although the reader would recognize this as the Eiffel Tower, the party merely sees an immense metal tower.  Its heavy iron latticework has become more of a garden trellis, as heavy vines and incredible plant growth have enveloped a majority of its surface area.  An elderly couple approaches the party and greets them warmly.  The couple informs the group that tower is now a nature preserve where several exotic and fragile species have made their homes.  "We gonna make it rain up in here!" Duke announces.  The elderly woman firmly states that the machinery is not to be touched, and that the party should only admire the plant and animal specimens.  Duke responds with "Sure, whatever" and the party quickly passes them by.

The adventurers climb the steps and reach the middle level of the tower.  The heavy plant growth on the sides has blocked most incoming sunlight, but the party forges on with Nyridius providing illumination.  The party slowly moves through the maze.  As they do so, they find zoo-like information stations which inform them about the horrifying critters that inhabit the space, including the "Skull Fang," "Savannah Spider," and the "Night Terror."  The party doesn't see any of these, but they hear them.  At one point, Vagabot drops the moisture crystal down a deep pit, and Nyridius utilizes his hovering ability to retrieve it.  While in the pit, the voices he hears leave him unsettled.  Later, the party finds a nest and bedding of a large amount of unseen insects.  They decide to set fire to this nest, which agitates the colony.

Once they reach the top of the tower, the party finds a control panel surrounded by hundreds of eggs.  Vagabot moves in an attempts to activate the antenna controls.  As she does so, the insects become agitated. Defendomax accidentally breaks an egg, which places the bugs on high alert.  Nyridius attempts to soothe the critters, but fails critically, and screams at them at the top of his voice, which incites the colony to swarm the party.  Vagabot frantically engages the antenna while the party fights off angry insects.  Vagabot activates the antenna and sets the moisture crystal in place, completing the party's task.  Quickly, they depart the upper levels and begin their escape from the tower.  Chased by angry insects, the party retraces their steps through the dark maze only to come face-to-face with the "fragile species" mentioned earlier by the old woman.

In the ensuing battle, Defendomax and Nyridius are covered in a sticky black tar that slowly begins to change them.  The party decides that a hasty exit is their best course, and they run past the furious creatures on their way to the stairs.  Near the exit, the party is engaged by the "skull fang," which tosses them around like dolls.

As he sprints toward the exit, Defendomax collapses when the black ooze turns him into one of the beasts that caused the infection.  The skull fang attacks Cuddlepunch and Vagabot, and dishes out severe damage.  From behind, the party can hear hundreds of insects and pit monsters approaching.  "Run or fight?" asks Vagabot.  "Run like hell!" shouts Duke.  The party sprints past the skull fang (snatching up a transformed Defendomax as they go) and exits the tower.  

Gettin' Moist, Part 3

The party leaves the Archive, eager to install the moisture crystal they've found and complete Ricardo's task.  As they backtrack across the desert, Vagabot remembers a small wooden hut nestled at the base of the mountain range.  Vagabot diverts off the path in an attempt to regain her memories, and the party follows her.  They approach the hut.  In front of their eyes, Vargas teleports onto the scene.  He gruffly greets the party with a simple "Hey assholes."  He tells Vagabot that she's going to want to look under the table in the hut, and calmly takes a seat on a stone wall.

The party cautiously approaches the hut, but their attention is turned when a familiar, annoying voice yells "HEY BUG!" from behind.  Grinner, the loudmouthed thug that the party had left dead in the streets of Dusttown, approaches the group from behind.  "Didn't we kill you already?" shouts Defendomax.  Grinner opens his shirt and reveals a turtle-like shell on his torso.  The shell is a noticeable improvement, considering that Professor Cuddlepunch clawed Grinner's soft underbelly open the last time they met.  Grinner displays his hideous smile as he tells the party that he's come to kill them all, and he's brought help to do it.  Four heavily armed thugs and one immense, four-armed brute arrive to back up Grinner.  Duke, ready to defeat Grinner for a third time, says "Bring it."  Vargas sighs heavily, cracks his knuckles, and says "I'll take the big one."

The party engages Grinner's crew with Vargas as their wingman.  Nyridius starts the battle on a good note by cracking Grinner open with a handy plasma rifle.  Grinner and his thugs attack forcefully, roughing up Duke and Defendomax.  The party looks to Vargas for assistance, but he's got his hands full with the heavy lumbering brute.

Vargas fires upon the brute repeatedly, but the lumbering simpleton grabs him and tries to crush him in a bear-hug.  Meanwhile, Nyridius turns the tide by immolating one thug and finishing off Grinner with a bizarre platypus-like forearm stinger mutation.  Grinner, filled with the stinger's poison, dies.  Duke smiles and moves to assist Vargas with the brute, who is quickly defeated.  Seeing that the brute is no longer a threat, Vargas leaves the party mid-battle.  The rest of the thugs are eliminated by Cuddlepunch and Vagabot.

Without any further distractions, the group enters the hut.  They find a simple space with a cot, a table, and some cans of food.  Vagabot follows Vargas' instructions and looks under the table, finding a video recorder. She presses play, which begins a video diary that Vagabot recorded before she lost her memory.  In the video, Vagabot says "I'm breaking into the Archive tomorrow.  I know why he wants me to do it, but that's not my main goal.  I'm going to steal the phase shifter, and use it to get rid of this damn crab-claw!  Then, finally, I will be perfect."  They search the hut further, and find the phase shifter.  Clearly displayed on the unit reads a warning label: "Warning!  Use of phase shifter will turn user into a nano-bot!"

Feeling that Vagabot used to be a much different person, the party resumes their trek to the tower, with the goal of completing their mission.

Gettin' Moist, Part 2

Battle commences at the Archive facade.  The raider utilizes his new-found helmet to focus the droids on Duke, and the samurai robots begin to swarm him.  Meanwhile, Cuddlepunch and Defendomax flank the raider in an attempt to liberate the helmet from him.  Vagabot and Nyridius struggle to help Duke deal with the samurai robots.

Duke sustains heavy injuries from the samurai droids, but uses a new mutation of walrus tusk-sized vampire fangs to turn the tide.  Duke bites into the raider, regaining some health in the process.  Nyridius finishes the raider with his own odd mutation; causing the the raider to be racked with a fatal bout of hysterical laughter.  As a reward for the savage beating he received, Duke picks up the helmet and assumes control of the samurai warriors.

Gazing upon the sight of the massive Archive, Vagabot and Defendomax experience flashes of memory.  Defendomax remembers protecting Windsor, who was an employee of the Archive.  Vagabot remembers attacking the Archive, but under someone else's orders.

The party enters the Archive and wanders the halls.  There is not much left to see; a once grand and well-staffed museum is now a ransacked, pillaged shell.  The party finds many empty display cases, insinuating that several bands of raiders have taken everything of value and power.  Down another hallway, the party hears the voice of Windsor, who is clearly talking to himself.  "THIS is how I will rebuild my empire, and get revenge against Reaper!" he shouts.  The party confronts Windsor, who offers the party access to the moisture crystal they seek, in exchange for the samurai droids.  After some tense discussion, the party accepts Windsor's bargain.  Windsor opens the door to the next chamber.

Inside, the party is attacked by three previous versions of Defendomax - Mark I, II, and III.  They are also confronted by a giant Paula Deen robot, who shouts "HEY YA'LL!  BUTTER!"  and attacks the party with kitchen-based attacks.

Paula Deen dishes out intense damage to Cuddlepunch and Nyridius, and at one point toasts Cuddlepunch like a slice of bread.  But Cuddlepunch fights on, and takes the opportunity to silence Paula Deen 'bot with her telekinesis.  Although Defendomax is beaten by a previous version of himself, the party comes out victorious.  The Paula Deen robot is defeated, and the older, imperfect Defendomax robots are scraped.

Gettin' Moist, Part 1

The party travels across the wasteland, in search of the Archive.  Although some in the party have been there before, none remember it.  Vagabot's memory stirs as they travel a sandy path that she's been down before.  Their quiet journey is disturbed by sudden tremors in the land.  The party is troubled by these seismic rumbles, but they carry on.

As they approach a narrow valley, they spot a lanky insectoid traveler frozen in place.  The traveler instructs the group to slowly move forward, because something underneath the ground can feel their footsteps.  The party follows his instructions, only to get surrounded by two enormous molesharks that emerge from the ground.  The insectoid pulls a gun on the travelers and tells them that this is a stick-up; either they give him all of their omega tech, or they get eaten by his moleshark friends and he takes their stuff anyway.  The party tries to talk their way out of the situation, but to no avail.  Duke doesn't bother talking, and immediately attacks the robber.  The sharks dig into the party, and their bites deal incredible damage.  Duke and Defendomax kill the robber, but at the cost of Professor Cuddlepunch, who is eaten by the moleshark.  Despite their large, lumbering nature, the party has a difficult time hitting the molesharks with their weapons.  They slug it out with both massive beasts, but take heavy bites along the way.  The champ of the battle is Vagabot, who evades two crushing chomps and successfully swarms one of the molesharks, which freaks it the hell out.   Eventually, the party succeeds in re-burying the hulking foes.

Finally, the party arrives at the Archive.  They find its enormous facade punctured by a large hole.  They recognize this hole as the one caused by Vagabot in the security video.  From inside the Archive, they hear Windsor's voice.  Windsor is clearly talking to himself, delineating plans for rebuilding his robot empire.

As the group approaches, a scavenger appears from the building, suiting up in an oversized samurai outfit.  Behind him are four samurai droids, marching in unison.  He announces that he has taken the best of what was left in the Archive, and now he's going to test out his new robot samurai army on the party!